Moments
by Vie LaRose15
Summary: *Spoilers for ME2* How did Shepard's friends and crew-members cope with her death after the destruction of the first Normandy?
1. Kaidan

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Mass Effect.

**A/N:**I have no idea where this came from but I was thinking about a collection of moments centered on the death of femShepard(Spacer/War Hero/Paragon/Soldier) and how her crew reacts and copes.

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There are some moments that leave an imprint so strong that lasts a lifetime. Sometimes their memory will be triggered by a scent, or a sight, a touch or a sound, something that will lead us back to that moment, making us relive it with an exact precision; a moment that changed our lives.

That stood true for Kaidan. Three moments he would never forget. Three vivid memories that time could not expunge. One, the day he saw her for the first time. Two, the night they spent together before Illos. Three, the Normandy exploding in front of his eyes.

Those three moments were his gift and his curse. He would not recall how he stumbled inside the Alliance ship that had come to rescue them after the attack but he would never fail to remember the look on Joker's face when he reached his pod. He had frozen at the sight of tears on his friend's face. He knew instantly what it meant. She had not made it.

Ignoring his friend's pleas for forgiveness, he had turned around and walked away. His mind had not registered where he went.

Hours later he had woken up from his numb state and had found himself in the cargo hold. He hadn't had a clue how long he had been there. He hadn't cared that they were probably looking for him, wanting to debrief him. He hadn't cared that his friends were probably looking for him, worrying about him.

The only thing that held any significance at that moment was that she was no longer there. He had lost her for good and he had been unable to do anything to prevent it. It had been at that moment that he had finally let go of his mental constraints and allowed his feelings to overwhelm him. Tears had streamed from his face as the pain of her loss took hold of him and gripped him tight. The pain had never let go from that moment on. He had simply learned to carry it with him.

Today was her funeral. There was no body, just an empty casket. Today, one more memory would be born and like the others, he would carry it with him for the rest of his existence. Because some memories are meant to last forever.


	2. Tali

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Mass Effect.

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Tali had always expected Shepard to die like that, a hero. She simply had never thought that she would do so, so soon. Especially now, that the world needed her the most. Her loss was something that hit everyone very hard. The crew of the Normandy had been a family. The one holding them together was Shepard. Without her, they would break. The crew would be reassigned and Tali herself would have to go back to her own people to fulfill her duties as a member of the Migrant Fleet.

As far as Tali was concerned, Shepard had been an ideal captain; compassionate, caring and motivated. She had been a fearless leader, who would brave anything in order to keep people from getting hurt. She had dared defy the Council and the Alliance. She had stolen a ship and ventured to Ilos, simply because she believed it to be the right thing to do. She had followed her instincts and prevailed, saving everyone, even the Council that had fought so much against her and her opinions. She hadn't shied away from the tough decisions but had always favoured the ones where more lives would be saved.

Shepard had welcomed her openly, not caring that she was an alien, not caring that she was wearing a suit and that she couldn't even show her face. She had given her the chance to prove to her who she was, without prejudice or any kind of constraint. She had allowed Tali a chance to appreciate humans, to know them and to admire them for their tenacity. Shepard had saved her life, but more importantly than that, she had become her friend.

That was why it was so difficult to accept that she was gone; to realize that she had now come to say her final farewell to her. It was not hard because she had lost her captain or the person she idolized, but because she had lost a dear friend. A friend that was so selfless to have died while saving the life of another.

Tali mused that Shepard had always been like that; always saving people, with little or no regard for her own safety. A sad smile formed on the quarian's lips. There were so many people that owed Shepard their life. Most didn't even realize it.

The funeral was small. There were, primarily, the crew of the Normandy and some officials. There was no body, just an empty casket. She had moved in the front, to stand beside Garrus and Kaidan.

Kaidan looked unnaturally composed. Garrus had his gaze fixed on the casket, his face showing some of the sadness he felt. Liara was also present, of course, as was Wrex, who was standing somewhere in the back. All of them were very silent. Liara was crying.

Tali had not cried up until that moment, perhaps she had not fully grasped the reality of the situation. It hit her right then, as the ceremony started. Shepard was truly gone. She would never see her again. She would never again come down to the engine room to talk to her. The Normandy was gone and with it, somewhere in the vastness of space, drifted the body of the woman that had meant so much, to so many people.

It was at that moment that the tears finally came. Staring at the silver tinted coffin, the young quarian started to cry. She did so freely, allowing her tears to wash a little of her pain away. It was one of the few times she really appreciated her suited life, as she was able to cry freely with no one to see.

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**Reviews are appreciated. **


	3. Wrex

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Mass Effect.

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Shepard's demise had been something he would not have expected. The human woman had never ceased to surprise him. She had confronted him face to face, like a warrior. She had wanted to know about him and his race. She had listened attentively during their brief conversations and had never tried to placate him with false sympathy or understanding. Everything she had been, she had showed openly. A steel blade; strong and direct. When she disagreed with him, she did so overtly. That had been one of the things he had primarily appreciated about her.

In her own right she had earned a place to fight alongside him and he alongside her. They had been equals in battle; both more than just capable warriors. Together they had dominated the battlefield. He had respected her abilities and he had been thrilled by the fact that she always seemed to be in the centre of a storm. There had been no dull moment around her. Every fight had been more challenging than the last one. Every enemy more difficult to defeat than the previous.

She had helped him find his family armour and she had done so without hesitation and without expecting anything in return. With that act, she had proven herself to him. He had granted her the right to be called his friend. Not many had earned that privilege, but she had been an exceptional person. Even the tension in Virmire had not managed to put a dent to their camaraderie. During her journeys and through her righteous acts, she had made a lot of enemies. He would have reveled at the moment that she went after them or they came after her. He would have continue to follow her as she took the fight to the Reapers. Things were never boring around her.

For a human and a woman, she had been a far better warrior than most Krogan. She had been the embodiment of courage, strength, and honour. Values once held high by his people, now all but forgotten. But he remembered, he still nurtured them and hoped that they would once again mean something to his people. When that time came, Shepard would serve as the perfect example.

Urdnot Wrex attended the funeral of Commander Shepard proudly, to honour a friend, a kindred spirit, but more importantly...a comrade in arms.

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**Reviews are welcomed ^^**

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	4. Garrus

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Mass Effect.

**A/N:** Feedback is really appreciated.

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When you lose someone you care about, the predominant feeling in your heart is sadness. Sometimes however, that feeling can be intertwined with another, more powerful and overwhelming; anger. Both can coexist, but usually the scale tips in favor of the later, as it is the easier one to express and to feel. It keeps the sorrow at bay.

It was that way for Garrus. He had formed a strong attachment to Shepard during their journey to stop Saren. She had shown and taught him much though her words and actions. She had taken him away from the close confines of the life of a C-Sec officer and had showed him that there was good to be done by stepping a little outside the law. For her, what had always mattered the most wasn't the obedience to some rules, but the salvation of lives. He had seen her go the extra mile in order to assure the survival of as many people as possible.

When everyone had turned their backs on her, refusing to listen what she had to say about Saren and the treat he posed, she had kept pushing forward. Same thing about the Reapers. Shepard had met each challenge in her path squarely and had overcome it. She had even saved the Council, which had so many times shot her down about the rogue Specter and the Reapers. She had always done what she thought right, with honour but above all with compassion. She believed in people and invested in them. She had given second chances to people that he would have never even considered to do so.

It seemed so absurd that she had died in such a way. After all their brushes with death, especially the trip to Illos, which they had thought that they would not survive, and the battle against Sovereign, where for a moment they had thought to have lost her, it seemed such a waste for her to have died like that.

He had heard that she had stayed behind to save Joker who had refused to abandon his post.

_"__You always enjoy to play the hero." _He remembered telling her one day.

She had smiled at him and shrugged_, "I don't. I just like to do what I think is right."_

So Garrus was angry. He was angry at himself for not being by her side, even though he realized that there was nothing he could have done. He was angry at Kaidan for obeying her orders and leaving her behind. He was angry at Joker for being so stubborn and forcing her to go get him. He was even angry at her, for dying and leaving so many things unfinished; for leaving them all behind.

_**She always had to rush forward, ahead of us.**_

But above everyone else, Garrus was angry at the Council.

His role as a C-Sec officer permitted him access to a lot of information. Especially now that everyone seemed to hold him in high respect for his role in the defeat of Sovereign and the defence of the Citadel. As a result, he had heard whispers that the Council planed to keep Shepard's death a secret, not wanting to alarm the public. That explained why there was so few people attending the ceremony. Not only was the Council claiming that the geth had been the real threat, completely burying any information about the Reapers, but also disrespecting Shepard in such a way.

Garrus looked at the coffin. His hands clenched tightly into fists. He would not stand for it. Not after what she had done for all of them. He would find a way to honour her memory. 


End file.
